On July 9th, 2019 Chiron goes retrograde at 5° Aries.
Chiron is where we feel broken, ashamed and inadequate.
Now that Chiron is in Aries, these feelings of brokenness and inadequacy are about the very foundation of who we are (Aries is the sign of identity). Basically, with Chiron in Aries, we feel that something is wrong with us.
But Chiron is also where we have the opportunity to heal ourselves. These ‘Chiron’ feelings are a symptom of a healing crisis. Something inside has cracked. Healing is about to happen.
Let’s say you have an infection on your leg and you take antibiotics treatment. After two or three days you start to feel sick. Why that? The antibiotic has killed the infection. Now your body deals with the toxins and dead pathogens.
Your body is temporarily overloaded – and that’s why you feel sick. This temporary sickness is, in fact, a sign that the treatment has succeeded, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
In the same way, you first have to bring whatever is ‘wrong’, repressed or unacceptable about yourself to the surface – so you can deal with it.
If you want to heal, there is no other way around. You have to face the pain.
What happens if you don’t deal with the pain?
If you bury these feelings inside, if you keep them away from your awareness, you start to dissociate from a part of yourself.
With time, all these things that are not acceptable will grow bigger and stronger. They will create a new organism. Your shadow. Soon, without even realizing, there will be two of you: the Acceptable You and the Unacceptable You.
There are two people sharing the same body, but not communicating with each other. At best, they will ignore each other. At worst, they will start to fight. There can be only one of you, right? This is what sickness – physical, emotional, spiritual – is. A split, followed by a conflict between two ‘foreign’ entities.
Yes, you can take antibiotics and kill the ‘enemy’. But because you created that enemy in the first place, it’s only a matter of time until you create it again. That’ why many times we have remissions when the disease is chronic.
The disease comes back because THAT you are trying to kill with pills, with fasting or other treatments – is a part of YOU.
When we go through pain, we, in fact, accept that pain is part of us, and indirectly, we accept that part of us we were trying to hide. That’s how we heal.
I’m not saying that pills, exercise, or healthy food are not good for you and are not going to heal you. But if you have a Chironic illness (and we all do), then trying to ‘cure’ what is ‘wrong’ with you, trying to ‘fight’ the enemy is not going to work.
The only way to heal from a Chironic illness is to accept yourself fully.
Chiron shows us what’s split inside us, and also what we need to do to bring these broken parts into a unified whole.
Just like Chiron was half-human, half-horse, half-mortal, half immortal, we too are a sum of broken parts. There are parts of us we accept and identify with and parts of us we despise and reject.
When you feel shame, guilt, or inadequacy, ask yourself: which part of myself I am trying to hide, or to ‘fix’? That’s exactly that part of you that you must learn to love.
Chiron Retrograde – Become Your Own Medicine
When Chiron goes retrograde, this search for integration moves inwards.
When Chiron is direct we look for answers outside. We go to the doctor, to the shaman, to the spiritual guru, to the coach. We travel to faraway places. We find mentors and people who can teach us things we don’t know.
With Chiron retrograde, we look for answers inside. We become our own medicine. We become the Shaman.
In a way, it’s only when Chiron is retrograde that we have the chance to truly heal, because this is when we apply what we’ve learned while Chiron was direct. Chiron retrograde is when we make sense of all this information in our own terms.
Unlike personal planets, Chiron – together with Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, spend a lot of time in retrograde (almost half a year every year). They are more difficult to understand. We need more time to ‘digest’ their energy.
From now until December (when Chiron goes direct again) you will dive into the healing waters of Chiron by tuning inside. You will become your own medicine.
Chiron is a maverick. His knowledge is beyond our understanding of what’s possible. When you’re ready, your inner Chiron will heal you of any disease of the body or of the soul. Even if nothing else has worked in the past, Chiron can make a miracle, Chiron can heal you.
When Chiron is retrograde, You are Chiron.
Bring all of your broken parts together, including those you are ashamed of the most. Make peace with ‘the enemy’. Accept yourself fully. When you own your shame or your inadequacy, this is when you become whole, this is when you heal.